hannah's blog

American Super Pro! (made in china, patriotism not included)

hannah — Sat, 28 Feb 2015 18:25:40 +0000

Chicago
Stanford
Memphis, Tennessee
American Sports Co.
New York
NYC
American Superstar
Baseball
Ohio State
Brooklyn, NY
American Football
Atlanta, Georgia
American Super Pro
Touchdown
Hartford, Connecticut
Portland
Seattle
Rhode Island
LA
Detroit

What do these words/phrases/places have in common? Two things- they're all American, and they're all on boy's clothes at a local SOUTH AFRICAN chain store where we often buy our kids' clothes. I'm an American ex-pat living in South Africa, and when I first moved here seeing things from the USA was always fun- I thought it was funny and it reminded me of "home", so it always made me smile. 8 years and 3 children later, I'm finding it more irritating than funny, and here's why:

We don't live in the States. These places and sports mean very little (usually nothing) to most South Africans. Most South Africans have only heard of these places and sports in movies/music/media. The general consensus on American football is that it's "something like rugby for sissies". No one knows how to play it. Baseball is similarly foreign. Even when I lived in the States, I wouldn't have bought most of these things. I'm just not a big fan of buying clothing that advertises places I haven't been or things I don't care about. If I'm going to wear clothing that advertises something, it will be a place, thing, or idea that means a lot to me. I generally prefer unbranded clothes for myself and my kids (exceptions being if it's something they/I really love. (Favourite disney character? I concede. Ben 10 or action characters they know nothing about? No.)
This is South Africa. South Africa is a lovely country in its own right. Why are there no South African themed childrens' clothes in the shop? Sure, you can find a few in the more expensive boutique shops or tourist traps, but when it comes to shops your average South African can afford? Zilch. There are plenty of fun South African phrases, beautiful cities, animals, etc that could be used in clothing lines instead of American themes- things that both South African children and adults could connect to and appreciate. What happened to being proudly South African? This said though (and connected to my last thought), I don't want my children idolising any country, and I'm honestly quite happy with classic patterns and solids- I'd love to see more of those as well.
What message is it sending? I love the USA. I really do! And I want my children to learn about the USA and love their heritage as well, BUT, I also want them to have an appreciation for where they currently live, whether we stay in South Africa their whole lives or someday move to another country. The fact that you can only find clothing pointing at other countries as being "cool" is discouraging. I hope they do get the opportunity to travel someday. I'm fairly well travelled and I feel that I'm better for that fact, however, I don't think it's healthy or right to always be longing to be somewhere else. It's important to be content where you're at, even if you do dream of traveling elsewhere "someday".
They don't have Arizona. If I'm going to buy my kids some made-in-China USA clothes, they'd better at least get the State right :-P

Things our kids teach us (and each other)

hannah — Tue, 06 Jan 2015 18:34:48 +0000

There are times each day that I feel like a referee- constantly breaking up little squabbles between the boys. Other times though, they surprise and delight me with their impeccable manners and politeness. Anneke seems to bring out that side of them more than anyone else does. She inspires her older brothers to take turns, share, and be gentle- to think of someone else's needs besides their own. When she sneezes, Josiah immediately says, "bess oo, Onka" (bless you, Anneke). When she cries both boys shush and pat her, croon loving words to her, or sing her a song.

Both Zak and Josiah adore their baby sister, and love to give her hugs kisses. It's incredibly sweet to watch, but we do have to warn them not to overwhelm her or get in her face too much sometimes. Between our warnings and what they've worked out between themselves, they've decided that the best way to approach her in the mornings is to take turns.

Every morning when we all wake up, they like to give Anneke attention. This morning, Josiah was the first to come give kisses and hugs. He climbed up onto our bed (not the simplest of tasks for a short-legged two year old), and said, "hewwo seek girl" (hello sweet girl), and gave her a kiss on the tummy while stroking her head. Zak, seeing that we were awake and it was ok to come, came up beside Josiah and asked, "Can I have a turn, please?" Josiah replied, "Yes- may" (Yes you may), and backed off so that Zak could cuddle her for a minute. They switched back and forth like that (Josiah saying, "Onka turn peas?" (Anneke turn please) whenever he wanted a turn with her), for a few minutes. Once Zak tried to cut Josiah's turn short, and when he asked for a turn, Josiah said no. I told Zak to wait a minute and then ask again, and Josiah happily relinquished his place given a little more time. Another time, Zak forgot to say please when he asked for his turn. Zak said, "Can I have a turn?" and Josiah just stared at him from his spot laying his head on Anneke's tummy. Zak corrected himself: "Can I have a turn, please?" and Josiah immediately acquiesced with a happy, "Yes- may", and backed away for Zak to take his turn. There were thank yous and you're welcomes mixed in as well.

When I was pregnant with Anneke, before I knew if she was a girl or boy, I prayed that she would be a peace-maker. Some people naturally seem to create a little bubble of peace around them, while others seem constantly surrounded by drama and conflict. Obviously creating peace in our family is, with God's help, primarily my and Raoul's responsibility. I would never place that responsibility on a child's shoulders. However, I did pray often that the newest member of our family would be a naturally peaceful person and that he or she would help balance our family. It's beautiful to watch the little ways that just having her here brings out the best in us. It's not what she does- it's our love for her as a family.

Raoul and I are constantly learning as parents, and each of our children teaches us, challenges us, and strengthens us in different ways. Zak is extremely extroverted, where Raoul and I are both introverted. He definitely pushes us out of our comfort zones sometimes. Zak can talk to anyone about anything, and one of his favourite things to talk about (when he's not talking about dragons, snakes, or sea creatures) is Jesus, and how he died on the cross to save us. Talk about challenging! Our pastor overheard Zak talking to someone about Jesus at a baby dedication we were at on Saturday. On Sunday, the children stayed in the service, and our pastor asked Zak to tell everyone what he told the person on Saturday. Zak spoke clearly into the microphone and said, "Jesus died on the cross for us because he loves us...and Jesus died for our sins." Our pastor thanked him and went on to give a short sermon about how we need to be unafraid to share the gospel, and challenged us not to let a week go by without telling someone about Jesus.

I have always felt a bit guilty and discouraged when I hear sermons about evangelism. As a child, I wanted to be a missionary. I've gone on missions trips and such in the past, but I am a stay-at-home mom, and a very introverted and somewhat isolated one at that. I spoke with our pastor after church about my feelings on the matter, and was really encouraged. He said that he doesn't really like "cold evangelism" (walking up to a random stranger and asking if they know Jesus) he feels friendship evangelism is much more effective, but said that we shouldn't isolate ourselves in our Christian circles- we need to go out and try to make friends and always be open about our faith. I was challenged because although I do have friends who aren't Christians, I tend to just avoid the topic of religion completely. My pastor again encouraged me by saying that rather than bringing up the topic outright, I can simply be open about how faith impacts what I do. When I talk about the challenges of motherhood, I can also mention that I pray and that God helps me through things. I can pray for my friends, and that God will open their hearts, and I can be ready to explain if they ever come to me and ask about my faith. For that to happen though, I need to be more open and stop censoring what I say for fear it might offend someone.

So you see, through Zak, I've been both challenged and encouraged. Challenged to share my faith, and encouraged that even if I haven't been very good at that in other places, God has been using me and Raoul to teach our children about Him, and by His grace, our children are learning and growing in their faith. I pray that Zak will never lose his faith or his passion and ability to share it with others, and that his younger siblings will follow in his footsteps in those areas.

Josiah has been much more easy-going than Zak and, in a way, it's the very easiness of him that challenges us. Josiah is an introvert like Raoul and I, and he clearly has an engineering bent, so he's easy for us (especially Raoul) to understand. Zak, with his extreme extroversion, intense emotions, and dramatic flair, is more difficult for us (especially Raoul) to relate to. We are challenged to be just and fair; not to be harder on Zak than we are on Josiah simply because he is older and more intense, and not to be easier on Josiah because he so rarely gives us a problem. If we fail to diligently discipline Josiah because he doesn't act out as often, we are doing all of our children a disservice. Josiah, through being our second child and so very different from his older brother, has taught us that our children are individuals with very different abilities, strengths, weaknesses, and needs. He has taught us that we need to be fair, but that we can't and we shouldn't try to make everything equal because that would mean treating them exactly the same when they aren't.

There are so many different ways that our children teach us and challenge us to be better people and parents- these are just a few that have been on my mind recently. What are some of the ways your children challenge you to be better people?

Homemade Muesli

hannah — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 20:24:56 +0000

Like most parents, we're always looking for affordable ways to feed our family healthier. So today Zak and I made some homemade muesli, and I'm hoping the boys will take to it well enough that we can stop buying sugary breakfast cereals (much as I love them myself, I know they aren't good for you). We found some great local sources for GMO-free oats, honey, and dried fruit. We got the oats and dates we used in this recipe from His Working Hands, which is a local business run by a Christian homeschooling family. They're out on the other side of town but deliver here for a small delivery fee, and their prices make the delivery cost more than worth it. They also have excellent prices on honey, which we've also bought from them, but in this case I used honey from the Exceptional Foods Consortium, which was running a Christmas special- they're another small local company, just starting out with some incredible products! If you're in the Cape Town area, do yourself a favour and check these companies out!

I've had some people express interest in how to make muesli. Most people don't realise how easy it is to make it at home. I grew up with homemade muesli (or granola as we call it in the States), and people in the States were always amazed that you could make it at home too. In light of this, Raoul said I should share my recipe on our blog. Well of course, what an awesome idea!

Fruit, Nuts, and Seeds Muesli

Ingredients

7 1/2 cups rolled oats (not quick/instant)
2/3 cup mixed nuts
2/3 cup wheat germ
1/2 cup sunflower kernels
1/2 cup pumpkin seeds
Cinnamon to taste (optional- I wanted ours fairly subtle so I just sprinkled on. Probably used between 1/4 and 1/2 tsp)
1/2 cup butter
1 cup honey (raw honey is preferred)
1/4 cup coconut oil
1 Tbsp vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup chopped dates
2/3 cup raisins (we used a mix of jumbo raisins)

Method

In a large bowl, combine the oats, nuts, wheat germ, sunflower kernels, pumpkin seeds, and cinnamon if using.
In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the butter, honey, oil, vanilla and salt; cook and stir until butter is melted and mixture is blended.
Pour over oat mixture and stir to coat evenly. Pour into a large, greased casserole dish.
Bake uncovered at 140° C for 60-70 minutes or until golden brown, stirring every 15 minutes to ensure even cooking.
Add fruit and cool, stirring occasionally. Once completely cool, store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Notes

This is a highly adaptable recipe. If you keep the ratios about the same, you can use any combination of nuts, seeds, and fruits that you'd like. Feel free to experiment!

This recipe calls for refrigeration because of the butter and wheat germ, however, you can find recipes without these ingredients that can be stored at room temperature.

Enjoy!

31 Days of Parenting Littles: Leave

hannah — Fri, 31 Oct 2014 19:30:54 +0000

When I saw today's word I was a bit stumped. I already explained how we don't often leave our children in a previous blog post, and that was the most obvious thing to blog about. I realised there are ways that we do "leave" them though.

We leave them to create their own schedules as babies- I breastfeed on demand, often wear them for naps (especially in the early days), and they go to bed at night when they're tired for the most part. Zak now has a bedtime, but it was formed because that's the time he started asking to go to bed regularly. And yes, he truly was asking. After years of only going to sleep at around 10-11 at night (and waking up between 9 and 11 in the morning), he started asking to go to bed at 8. Even if we had company over, he'd say, "I'm tired- can I go to bed now?" Why certainly you can!

We also leave them to feed themselves. When introducing solids we use baby-led weaning, which involves giving the baby whole table foods (as in, whole steamed broccoli florets, a whole banana, fingers of steak, a chicken drumstick, etc). We let them experiment with the food- mash it, bite it, chew it, spit it out, and maybe actually consume a bit. Many parents are scared of this approach because they fear choking, but when you introduce solids this way FIRST (without ever spoon feeding), they're unlikely to choke because their natural reflexes will prevent it- their gag reflex starts out about halfway down their tongue, so if a chunk of food that's too big to swallow gets that far, they just gag a bit, lean forward, and let the food drop out.

So far leaving our babies and toddlers to sleep when they're tired and eat when they're hungry has worked well for us and for them- much less fighting, tantrums, and work involved!

31 Days of Parenting Littles: First

hannah — Thu, 30 Oct 2014 20:46:48 +0000

Zak is our firstborn, and that is such a special thing. I KNEW before I took the pregnancy test, that I was pregnant. We weren't even trying for a baby (weren't even considering trying for a baby for another year or two!), but somehow I knew. I prayed for him every night, from even before that pregnancy test turned positive. Zak changed so much in my life.

I was still struggling with depression before I got pregnant with him, but knowing I had a baby on the way really turned things around for me. Maybe part of it was hormonal, but I think a big part was just realising I held the future in me. Zak made me a mother- took the focus off myself and put it on him. He's brought me so much joy!

He is our firstborn, and in a lot of ways he's been the most challenging- not because we were first time parents, but just because he's so intense! He feels everything deeply- joy, anger, sadness, etc. Everything is dramatic and exuberant. He's creative, funny, and extremely outgoing. Zak can be sensitive, sweet, and helpful, or defiant and challenging on every issue that comes up. He didn't sleep through the night for 3 years, but in those years (and the two since), he's given so many cuddles and hugs, and made us laugh so many times at his funny antics. He's incredible, and such a blessing.

Zak, my firstborn son- I thank God for you!

31 Days of Parenting Littles: Unite

hannah — Wed, 29 Oct 2014 19:52:43 +0000

One of the most (if not THE most) important aspects of parenting for a couple, is to be united in your decisions. It can really harm a marriage to be divided on issues of parenting, and it's something that comes up before the baby is even born! If any young couple or unmarried person reads this, take note!

It's so important to discuss aspects of parenting ahead of time and make sure you agree. Some of the immediate decisions you'll need to make are regarding the baby's name, methods of birth and feeding, where baby sleeps, the issue of circumcision if it's a boy (we don't), and vaccinations (we don't for a wide variety of reasons). These debates get incredibly heated in parenting circles (especially between mothers!), and as such if you haven't discussed them with your spouse it can lead to huge battles- something you really don't want to do when you're pregnant and hormonal already! You need time to discuss these things and come to an agreement so that you can support each other in your decisions and not work against each other.

An ongoing issue and one that can be extremely stressful for everyone involved (both parents and children), is discipline. Consistency is so incredibly important when it comes to how we treat our children, and when parents disagree on how things should be handled, it becomes a source of stress for everyone. The children are confused by parent's differing approaches, and possibly hurt by the resulting conflicting messages ("...but Mommy said yes!" *tears*), and it can spark arguments between parents as well.

Talk about these things ahead of time, and come to a united conclusion. Also stay open to learning more and keep the communication open so that you can remain a united front.

31 Days of Parenting Littles: Wake

hannah — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 20:14:16 +0000

We never intended to co-sleep with our children. When I was pregnant with Zak, we got a cot (crib), and a bassinet to use, just like every "normal" couple does. We intended for him to sleep in our room for the first few months and then transition to his own room in his cot once he outgrew the bassinet. That's just what you do...right? Well, turns out, not so much.

We got home from the hospital and soon found that Zak had other plans. He woke every 20 to 60 minutes the first couple nights, until in sleep deprived desperation, we put him in our bed. Suddenly, we were all sleeping better! It was a beautiful thing, especially because Raoul is rather cranky when sleep deprived, and I struggle with insomnia off and on, during which times it takes me up to a couple hours to fall asleep every time I have to full wake up at night. With the baby in bed with me, I can just half-wake up and latch the baby, and then doze again.

Another thing I loved about cosleeping as a first time parent especially, was that if I woke up and my baby was still sleeping, I could immediately see and feel that he was ok and still breathing. SIDS really freaked me out as a first time mom.

Sleep deprived? Try putting baby in bed with you- just make sure to do it safely!

31 Days of Parenting Littles: Free

hannah — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 20:22:27 +0000

There's a quote that says, "the best things in life are free", and often that saying goes with a cute picture of a couple holding hands, or kids smiling, a little girl dancing in a field of flowers...beautiful, sweet images that bring to mind love and family, joy, laughter, etc. Well, I have to disagree with the wording of that saying. Those things aren't free. In fact, they're very costly- often moreso than material things. To say that they're free actually cheapens them I think.

Love, joy, peace, family, etc- those aren't free, they're priceless. You can't put a price tag on them, but that doesn't mean they weren't worked for and costly to come by. That love between couples sometimes seems to come easily, but sometimes it's fought for. Those smiles from our children are bought by the hours of dedication and nurturing, love and discipline that we pour out on them from the day they're born. The absolute #1 best thing in life is assurance of eternal life in heaven, which is the most costly thing of all- paid for by the death of God's own Son.

The best things in life aren't free- they're priceless.

31 Days of Parenting Littles: Visit

hannah — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 19:15:45 +0000

Being a parent really changes your social life. When you have your first and your friends aren't yet having children, it can really drastically change things! We had Zak sooner than we were planning on having children, and we were the first in our circle of friends to have kids. We were never big on schedules, and Zak slept amazingly while we were out as long as we were wearing him, so we never saw a reason for cutting down on visiting friends, going to braais, etc, but not all our single or young married friends felt comfortable having a baby around or knew that we would still be happy to come, so invitations became a bit few and far between.

Of course, we were a bit spoiled by Zak sleeping well when we were out. It wasn't the case with Josiah, who was easily overstimulated and would have night terrors if he didn't get enough sleep during the day. For him to get enough sleep, he needed to be at home in bed, so I finally understood my mommy friends who planned everything around naptimes, and suddenly it was me turning down activities or rescheduling things to work better with naps.

Nowadays it's often easiest to have people come to us, especially for our friends who don't have kids- then they don't have to worry about their house being child-friendly. But....with kids comes a whole lot of mess. We had some friends pop 'round earlier today unexpectedly and the house is a MESS. We loved seeing them, and trust me, we are always happy to have friends visit- adults to talk to! SCORE! So please, please visit us. But if you aren't comfortable with a messy house, give us a few days warning.

31 Days of Parenting Littles: Enjoy

hannah — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 20:49:24 +0000

People have a tendency to be very negative about parenting- even parents who LOVE their kids and love being parents still say a lot of negative things surrounding parenting in general. This tends to come out most while talking with parents who have younger children than they do (or pregnant moms- they get it the worst I think!). "Just you wait..." Sleepless nights, colic, tantrums, terrible twos, sassy three year olds, rebellious teens, etc, etc. When people see you with more than two children, or even more than one sometimes, it's always, "Wow, you've got YOUR hands full!" Today we were at the mall with our three kiddos and although I got oohs and ahhs over Anneke, I still got that comment from several people, and even worse, "So you must be done now, right?"

Well, I've got a different story for you, pregnant mom. New mom. Mom with young children. Just you wait! Just you wait for those first smiles- they'll light up your world and make everything sparkle. Just you wait for those first giggles- you won't be able to stop yourself from laughing in delight with them. Just you wait until your baby is sitting and noticing the world around them so much more- you get so many more of those cute sweet laughs (that have now turned into belly chuckles!) when you play peek-a-boo. Just you wait for those first steps and the way your baby is so proud of themselves.

Just you wait...Just you wait until your two year old is starting to talk more. You'll be so delighted by the simplest things he says! Just you wait until your three year old "reads" memorised books to you. Just you wait for those first sweet times your little one starts trying to take care of you when you're sick- it's the most amazing, heartwarming thing to have your child tuck you under a blankie and tell you to rest. Just you wait until they pray for someone who is sick with childlike faith and determination that they'll get better.

Just you wait...there is so much to enjoy at every age. Don't let the challenges keep you from enjoying your kids, and remember to spread some positivity to other parents about what's to come- they hear enough of the negatives already!