What is love?

raoul — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 17:39:46 +0000

90's dance artist Haddaway wrote a song "What is love" which became an instant hit, and in it he sings,

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me,
Don't hurt me
No more.
Baby don't hurt me,
Don't hurt me
No more.
What is love?

It seems that all he could think of when thinking of love was the hurt he'd been through in previous relationships. And that's but one of many thousands of love songs sung throughout the centuries. But they all have different answers to the question, "what is love?"

Many songs talk about, "feeling your arms around me," and others about, "making love tonight," but is that really love?

As a married man, one who has known his wife for a few years before they got married, I think I have a fair understanding of what REAL love is about. It's the type of love that is mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13, particularly these verses:

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails.

I think the part that most people fail is the "Love ... is not self-seeking." How many of these love songs talk about the person being loved? Far less than those that talk about the person doing the "loving". Also, how many of these artists in real life have successful marriages, admirable lifestyles and true happiness? Interestingly enough, almost none of them.

Perhaps for clarification we should look at all the attributes of real love and see what they mean for us in real life.

Love is patient: What is your attitude toward your loved one when they can't get something right or they don't understand you? Do you moan and complain? Or do you patiently explain it to them again for the umpteenth time?
Love is kind: Do you have an attitude of kindness toward your partner? Or are a number of your remarks and actions just plain cruelty? What about if you've broken up with your boy/girl friend? ARe you nasty to them?
[Love] does not envy: Are you jealous of other guys around your girlfriend? Are you catty towards the female friends of your boyfriend?
[Love] does not boast: So you've got a girlfriend, and she's the prettiest girl in the school. Do you go around telling everyone that you're dating the most beautiful girl in the school? Do you tell everyone how great your relationship with your boyfriend is and how it's better than anyone elses?
[Love] is not proud: I think this is self explanatory. Pride and love do not ride in the same boat.
[Love] is not rude: Another self-explanatory one, rudeness is despised by most people and often seen as a sign of disrespect. Anything but love.
[Love] is not self-seeking: What are you getting out of love? Is love all about you and your enjoyment, or about the other person? If you really love that person, you will go out of your way to make sure that they are happy and feeling truly loved all the time. Real love is about the other person, not about you. Divorce is self-seeking, "I'm not getting what I want out of this marriage!"
[Love] is not easily angered: Do you get angry quickly with your spouse? Do you yell or growl at them when they upset you?
[Love] keeps no record of wrongs: An argument comes up, and what do you do? Bring up all the old dirty laundry and wave it in your partner's face? Love keeps no record of wrong, so real love won't do that.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth: Are you careful to do right and eager keep your partner in the right too? If your partner is doing something wrong, do you gently reprimand them?
[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres: Do you protect your spouse? Do you trust them implicitly? Do you persevere in your marriage through all the rough times? These are all signs of real love - the others-focused love.

I know this passage is used often (and most often at weddings), but I do believe that it's a very important point. This passage was actually written as part of Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. Paul had heard reports of what was going on there, and the Corinthians were not behaving like Christians should, and so in this passage Paul was telling them how to love like Christ loves. It also shows us how we should be living and loving others.

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Marriage and God's plan

raoul — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 21:52:44 +0000

On Sunday I heard a very interesting sermon by a local chap by the name of Simon Clegg. He heads up an organisation called the City Partnership, which is an organisation for Christian business men and women. But his sermon wasn't about that. It was about marriage.

But what was really interesting about it was how the whole sermon came out of Genesis 2, and what it contained. We looked at Genesis 2, from about verse 4 to the end. However, the key verses were really from verse 18 and onwards.

You see, the Lord said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." but we always get stuck up on the "alone" bit. Simon Clegg was arguing that we look at the passage from man's point of view and thus miss the picture completely. He said that it wasn't because the man was lonely that God created woman, but because it was "not good." And what does that mean exactly?

We tend to think that "good" in that passage, and indeed, in the passages before that (especially Genesis 1), that "good" means good in our english. Simon contended that the original text is talking about how things were "according to God's plan".
So this means that when God said that it was "not good for man to be alone," He meant that it wasn't according to His plan.

Interesting thought. Not according to God's plan... so marriage... husband and wife... is all part of God's plan.

He went on to show to us how the marriage hierarchy, revealed in Ephesians 5:22-33, is actually evident in Genesis 2.

According to Genesis 2:23, "The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shalled be called "woman," for she was taken out of man.'" which means that man has authority over woman (see Genesis 2:19, "Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name." - Man has authority over them because he has named them).

However, that doesn't mean that men can just lord it over their wives and treat them like dirt... no... in the words of Spiderman, "with great power comes great responsibility." Have a look at Genesis 2:15, "The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it."

Very important. God had given Adam authority over the animals and plants and the rest of the earth, but it was so that he could look after them. So it's man's job as the authority in the marriage, to take care of his wife.

You see? From the very beginning God had ordained that man was to protect and cherish and love his wife. And that is most certainly my aim with Hannah.

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The Snyman Blog - God

What is love?

Marriage and God's plan